Good Morning DeGens!
This is the start of my new series “How to Stop Being Weird”.
A COMPLETLY FREE series aiming at helping those who lack the basic social skills to make it in a world that gets more social by the day and punishes harder the ones that don’t get it.
I highly recommend reading the introduction to the substack to know where I came from and where we’re going. (LINK)
First of all: What is weird?
I define weird as the inability to understand certain social interactions. And as a result, your response to that interaction will be inadequate. This can range from not understanding a joke, to get picked on, not reading the room and saying something stupid, etc.
I think that “weirdness” is more of a perception that people have of a person instead of a state of being. People will be weird in the eyes of some and completely normal for others. Achieving social mastery means that you will know what to do in almost every interaction (nobody is perfect, certainly I’m not).
This series will tackle the reasons why people (especially young men) are weird. I’ll give you solutions consisting of actionable advice to improve your social skills. Because I don’t know your starting point, I’ll assume that you are incapable of speaking to a human being. If the first episodes does not apply to you, don’t worry, we will get there in time.
DISCLAIMERS.
I’m NOT a psychologist. I’m NOT a doctor. I’m NOT a therapist.
We are going to talk a lot about mental health. Especially depression, anxiety, and self-esteem. My works will be based on my own experiences and the things I learned coaching people for 4 years. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about you didn’t read my first post so go start there (LINK)
Here you will learn social skills. And as with any skill, it takes practice to understand and master. If you’re not willing to do any of the exercises I’ll tell you to do, then this series is not for you. Getting better at something means taking ACTION. It means having experiences, failing, repeating, and learning. You WILL make mistakes. Live with that fact or NGMI.
Getting that out of the way let’s start with YOU.
Look at yourself in the mirror.
What do you see?
Is that where you want to be in life?
The first step is to accept that you have a problem. Why would you be reading this in the first place? Do not let your pride get the better of you. Social skills are the most important skills you have to learn. And you will never get it if you make excuses for your poor behavior.
This is not a self-help motivational bullshit kind of work. My job is to make you a socially competent person. Nothing more.
Unless you’re 35+ years old (by that age you should have noticed that something is wrong), being in your situation is NOT YOUR FAULT. Society has been doing everything in its power to make you insecure, depressed, and clueless. Your parents may not have raised you properly, maybe you didn’t even have the 2 present in your life. Maybe you have trauma. Things that you could not control and made you what you are now.
Don’t worry, YOU can take action this instant. As of now, your social situation is 100% on you. And you will make it.
Another important thing to take in mind. Not everyone is going to achieve the same results. Why? Because everyone is different.
Your birthplace, your genetics, your gender, your IQ, your willpower, etc. All of that is different from each other.
That means that the worst thing you can do is to compare yourself to others. Others are not you, and you are working on you. So DO NOT waste time looking at others. The only exception is for admiration/motivation.
DO NOT EVEN THINK FOR A SECOND that your “stats” are an excuse to stay stagnant. You should ALWAYS aim to be the best version of yourself. You will live better and be happier no matter what. Yeah, maybe you’re not gonna be an expert Machiavellian. But you are going to be better than now and that’s all that matters.
This is it for today.
Next episode we will cover:
The causes of weirdness
How this applies to you
Your first exercise and the logic behind it
This will be a weekly series. However, I recommend not jumping to the next episode until you think you’re ready. If you skip steps you are NGMI. You cannot be a dating expert if you are scared of asking a random for the time.
I wish you the best of luck on this journey and I’ll see you again next week!